In conclusion…

I have nothing inspiring to say. I don’t even have anything uninspiring to say. It’s almost like my voice or inner thought-box is broken. Every thought that comes through my mind is rejected.

Do you know what it is like to want something so badly and try and try and try and then finally realize that it is never going to happen?

Yeah.

That’s where I am. But yet I’m not.

I am not sure whether to allow myself to come to the point of acceptance or just keep waiting. To wait is torture. To accept is torture.

Things are not what they were that is for sure. I would venture to say that most all of the time, things are never what they were.

For anyone.

Anywhere.

Change is the only thing that is guaranteed to happen, whether it be for good or for bad. Even when we sit and think that nothing is changing. Something is. And in that instant, it’s our mindset that is changing. We are accepting something as a truth. We can lie to ourselves long enough that we will believe it. We can tell ourselves a truth long enough that we will believe it.

I don’t know what keeps me holding on.

Maybe it is a dream inside of me that just refuses to die. Unfortunately, when others are involved in dreams, it doesn’t always work to let your dreams go on. Because that is infringing on another person’s dreams which might not be the same.

No one can assume that they know what is going on in another  or that they know how someone else feels or thinks because we are all different people. Even people we have a connection with, we connect, but we aren’t the same person. And who would want to be? I would suppose that is the reason for communication. Good communication takes work. Good communication cannot be built on how you”read” a situation or a person. Cause guess what?

You could be wrong.

You could think something is going on with someone and that be the furthest thing from the truth possible. And believing something to be truth that you know nothing about can really put walls up and separate and divide what could be something different.

But good communication will always break down walls.

We’ve all done this and anyone who says they haven’t is just obscuring the truth from themselves.

Intentions? Do intentions make things real? Or do they just make them intentional?

I would have….

I was going to….

I almost…

But guess what?

You didn’t.

So many complications. So many things could be made simple. But, I guess, it just depends on what is important, or on who is important.

I would say that maybe I am just not ready to come to a conclusion about myself or about someone  or about a situation. Not without further questioning. Not without more time.

And later if I find out that I should have, I don’t think that I will consider it time wasted. I think instead I will see it as a time that I took to truly listen and feel what I was feeling and what they were feeling and maybe see things from a different perspective.

So give up? No. Conclude? Not a chance.

Make any sense at all or have anything to say about it?

Maybe.

Be completely vague and yet totally have a point always to my rambling?

Definitely.